Boys' Night: Girls aren't the only ones who should have a night out to themselves

Men are troubled people. You wouldn't know it - I don't think - but they are. Most of them are, at least, and the ones that aren't probably just aren't paying attention.

And who wouldn't be? Life is rough on everyone sometimes. Both Men and women have bad things that happen, hard times they can't shrug off. You have a tough exam, you've got bedhead or you get hit by a tour bus. It happens.

But here's the thing: men don't get to talk about it. Women have a self-sufficient support network, also known as "girls night," where they go off into a room somewhere and have underwear pillow fights and experiment with their sexuality. I mean, right? Isn't that what happens?

No, but seriously, women can talk to each other about their problems. If something's wrong, you can bet that two close female friends will be able to open up and talk to each other about it - at least a little, probably just enough to get pissed off and catty about it, but at least they're talking. Us men get to drink beer and play video games. Sometimes we burp or grunt.

"Men are constrained by standards that they have to adhere to in public," said Dan Emmons, a 5th-semester electrical engineering major. "Being able to be around other guys who understand the situation you're in is important for de-stressing and being yourself."

Emmons highlights a serious problem among men. On an average Friday night, the interpersonal connections get about this deep:

"Hey, man. How you doin'?"

"Pretty good. Yeah."

"Yeah, cool. Halo?"

That's us. Anything more, one iota of connective feeling injected into the room and we turn and run in terror, clutching our beers and fearing for our privates.

Of course, we can talk to women just fine. We can be nice to women. We can pour out our hearts and listen earnestly and share intimate secrets and air all those hopes, dreams and fears that live in the monster-infested closets of our imagination. And hey, we like that. Many women, I'm sure, have had boyfriends who seemed friendly, open and communicative, but who turned into little clams when around their male buddies. Big secret: most men really do like to gossip, and most men actually do have an awful lot of feelings.

And then off the girls go, to women's night and we're all left feeling vaguely rejected, lonely and maybe a little bit jealous.

So why is this the case? Why do we want to come to girls' night?

The obvious answer, of course, is that we all just want to get some. And I'd like to contest that, because you know what? I'm sick of men getting relegated to the "hornball" corner of the ring. I'm sick of my gender taking all the flak for being shallow, emotionless and brutish. Men and women are both interested in sex, and neither men nor women are only interested in sex.

I propose an alternative: we talk so well to women because we're afraid to talk to each other. We're taught to be independent from a young age; to beat the other dude, to stand our ground, to not compromise. We're taught that other men are foes to be taken down at any opportunity. Emotional connection is limited to fraternal fist-pounds and furious, bone-crunching man-hugs.

I think we can do better. I propose "boys' night." I propose a version of boys' night that doesn't begin and end with beer and video games. For that matter, I insist that nobody is allowed to even touch the TV. Ludicrous? Maybe. But I think it can be done.

"Guy time can be as enriching as you want it to be," said Sean Carey, a 7th-semester philosophy major.

"It could be just cards and beer, but it can also be intellectual and emotional. You can bond with people on a real level, if that's what you want."

During boys' night, it is cool to talk about your family. It is cool to talk about how stranded and lost you felt after your girlfriend dumped you (penalty if you need to use offensive language to describe her). It is okay to talk about how you've always admired each other (penalty if it's about "Halo" skills) or how you've never really been okay with that one joke a friend made last week.

So this weekend, take some time to yourselves - ship the women off and lend them the Xbox, maybe they'll like it. Gather your best mates and go out to dinner. Talk about the stuff you really care about. Connect. There's no shame there. It might even be good for you. Of course, you can't fall into the trap of prescribed, traditional manliness - or the women will just mock us.

"I think boys' night is great as long as you don't play poker and talk about blowjobs," said Brenna Harvey, a 5th-semester English major.

Once you've done that, of course, it is also acceptable to drink lagers, eat red meat and play Castle Crashers. Because ultimately, boys' night is yours. Make it your own.