Captain Shippee rocks the boat

The Shippee Pit buzzed with excitement Thursday night as 10 strapping young lads - each oozing with brawn and brains - competed in the third annual "Captain Shippee" contest. Sponsored by Shippee Area Council, the Miss America-esque pageant for male honors students consisted of a group dance, formal wear, beach wear, a talent portion and a question-and-answer session.

"Winning Captain Shippee will prove that I'm the biggest stud in the whole world," said Shawn Deford, a 2nd-semester English major and competitor in the pageant.

The show opened with the 10 men dancing a choreographed number that included lots of pelvic thrusting and hip shaking.

"The training was intense. I've had nothing but protein shakes for the last six weeks," said Alexi Wiemer, a 2nd-semester business major in the competition.

The effort showed. The dance took around three weeks to choreograph and teach to the contestants, and it was executed stunningly.

Next, the men displayed their formal attire. Some donned their classiest suits, while others took an alternative approach to the concept of "dressing up." One contestant sported nothing but shorts, a pink tie and dress shoes. Another, along with his escort, completely immersed themselves in plaid.

Swimwear proved to be a steamy portion of the show. One contestant ripped off his pants halfway through his entrance. One wore a child's bikini. Another wore nothing but a blue Speedo and then proceeded to "shake it" in front of the judge's table. The hosts were reeling with laughter as one contestant stormed the stage wearing snorkeling gear.

Finally, the contestants had a chance to really win over the judges, two of whom were Jennifer Lease-Butts and Lynne Goodstein, associate director and director of the Honors Program, respectively. The contestants displayed their talents, bringing the competition to a new level. Some boys exhibited obvious years of hard work to perfect their talents. One boy stunned the crowd with his tap dancing performance, while another won over the audience with his rendition of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You," accompanied by his own piano playing and falsetto voice.

Other contestants took less conventional routes in order to impress the judges. Two of the contestants teamed up on a carpet, one wearing a green bra and the other a mean pair of shades, and sang Aladdin's "I Can Show You The World". Another demonstrated his ability to peel and eat four clementines in under a minute.

After a tense deliberation from the judges, a decision was finally reached. Alexi Wiemer, Jim Anderson and Pat Notti took top three to compete in a brutal and mind-burning question and answer session. When asked "Do you prefer chunky or smooth peanut butter?" Alexi provided the thought provoking response, "I prefer smooth, 'cause I'm a smooth guy." When asked his weirdest quirk, Pat Notti shared with the room, "Whenever I go to the bathroom, I have to be completely naked."

Two minutes after the question and answer ended, the judges reached their final decision of who would win the coveted title. Pat Notti took third place, Alexi Wiemer took second and Jim Anderson took home the gold. Crowned with a tiara and presented with pink flowers, Jim couldn't have been happier about winning.

"I feel beautiful. I feel like the most beautiful man in the world," said Anderson, a second semester engineering major.

Truly, it was a night of brains and beauty, artfully showcased by 10 qualified contestants. In the end, however, only one could shine above the rest as the prettiest, the brightest, and the most talented…Captain Shippee of 2009.