How to beat your flaccid fiasco

Clothes on the floor, hands in hair, tongues thrashing - it's not hard to picture this scenario; but what happens when things start going soft? A male going from midnight to six can be a major mood killer, and this situation may be uncomfortable and embarrassing for both the frustrated and the flaccid.

Though often aroused and interested in pursuing sexual activities, many factors can account for putting the limp into lust. Reasons such as alcohol, drugs, stress, pressure to perform, fatigue and health can all cause flaccidity.

A common problem, this momentary loss may be disappointing and inconvenient but not a cause for worry. According to WedMD.com, "failure to achieve an erection less than 20 percent of the time is not unusual and treatment is rarely needed. Failure to achieve an erection more than 50 percent of the time, however, generally indicates there is a problem requiring treatment."

So how can a fleshy fiasco be recovered?

For males in this situation, the first move to make is to not become embarrassed or uncomfortable. As a natural occurrence, this problem is no one's fault and so guilt shouldn't rest on either party. Do not make the other partner feel at fault with attacks or comments on their sexual aptitude, and instead try and keep both libidos at work while taking a break to see if things return.

While a male waits for a return to rigidity they should continue to pleasure their waiting partner orally or manually, or by taking turns massaging. This stimulation will keep a partner engaged and in the moment, and watching your consort squirm with pleasure can also serve as inspiration for the return of an erection.

Partners should take the same first move as the males, and also remain calm and comfortable in this situation. Do not become frustrated, complain or question any sort of masculinity in this situation. This will not only be a mean and inappropriate time for criticism, but will more than likely destroy any chance of another try.

Being self-critical will be equally destructive in this situation, so don't worry about doing something wrong or being unattractive. Unless something truly unappealing has just been attempted or an extenuating circumstance has ruined the mood, there is no reason for blaming oneself.

Blame will generally lead to future arguments and insecurities, but questioning and discussing why erectile dysfunction has occurred is healthy and natural. If there are no external factors causing the loss, or if the flop is due to stress or fatigue, write a rain check and do not worry unless it becomes a frequent problem. If the problems are occurring from drinking or using drugs, however, then this should be dealt with as a separate issue which the male will need to immediately deal with. Drinking to a point where one cannot hold an erection is damaging to relationships, intimacy and the males themselves, so never accept this as an excuse.

If erectile dysfunction becomes a problem, explore options such as herbal supplements, stimulating gels and lubricants. But if the problem becomes so persistent that it is a regular event see a doctor and explore options such as prescription drugs.