Sex And The UniverCity

In light of a Letter to the Editor (Sept. 7) regarding my column, I have chosen to write today about my feelings towards sex and what I have found. I am sure this may seem obnoxious and unappealing to some, but it is strictly meant to entertain.

I am the type of girl who enjoys hooking up, but believes there is something to be said about sex with someone you are dating. When I think of good sex, I think of passion. I have found that there is something spectacular about engaging in sex with a person you like. Being involved with someone for a while leads to an understanding of who he or she is. When having sex, I like to be able to look my mate in the eye and know that he is enjoying it, and not because he is getting some, but for the fact that he is pleasing me. When I was in a long-term relationship, I had the best sex ever. When you know a person so well, sex is incredible because you are connecting on a whole different level and the experience makes you much closer.

When you are hooking up with someone you don't know as well, sex is basic. It becomes just a physical act, although a fun one. Kissing a new person is invigorating because it is something fresh. Sex with someone new, however, is different because it can be awkward and confusing. When having sex with a new person, you don't know which position to use, you don't know if he or she likes to kiss while in the moment, you don't know if he or she has an STD. There are so many unknowns. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy flings. However, I have simply found that the best sex ever does not happen with a random person.

While with my ex, I learned and tried many things. When you are with someone for so long, you don't have to be uncomfortable, and can tell your significant other what you want. I was lucky that somehow, I never had to be embarrassed and let him know what I wanted or when I wanted it. I believe that this comes with the connection you gain while building not only a friendship, but a real relationship. When you know a lot about a person, you tend to care a lot for them. This connection develops my favorite thing, passion. I think that the one and only thing that leads to great sex is passion. Passion makes once-good sex turn to amazing, digging-your-nails-into-his-back-and-wanting-to-cry-in-happiness sexual encounters. This passion allowed me to not care whether or not I orgasmed because I was experiencing something that was almost better; an orgasm would just be the product of this amazing occurrence.

Since breaking up with my ex, I have found nothing that can compare to this experience and it is not because he was great in bed, it is just that I have yet to make the commitment to someone that leads to the experience. Sex with random people has not produced the heart-wrenching emotion that spicy sex did with someone I loved. Post break-up sex with him was not fantastic either. This has led me to conclude that in good relationships, you create feelings that lead to awesome sex.

I can honestly say that I believe I have encountered some really good sex, simply by being with someone that brought on this fervor. Passion led me to have some of the greatest moments in my life and my wish for everyone is that someday they can experience this. It is not as simple as it seems, just being in a relationship doesn't equal great sex.

My hope for others is that one day they can experience what I have felt. In last week's column, when I was discussing how to find a person to form a relationship with, I was simply doing just that, discussing. In no way do I care to impress upon the student body my ideas, because they are only things that I have found to work for me. I encourage you all to do your own thing, I only offer advice based on my experiences, both good and bad.