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Subpar 'Pandorum': is predictable

By Focus Department

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Published: Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Updated: Monday, January 18, 2010

Misclassified as a horror film, "Pandorum" gives viewers the impression that it will soon be on the $5 dollar movie rack at Target. The dark rooms, random power surges, slime on the walls and (of course) random alien-like creatures on the ship all successfully set the scene for a good time. The excitement is killed when you realize the plot follows Ben Foster around and Dennis Quaid has the supporting role; after Quaid's epic performance in "The Day After Tomorrow," this was very disappointing.

After spending many years in hyper-sleep, Bower (Foster) and Payton (Quaid) wake up for their shifts as crewmembers aboard a spaceship. Both conveniently remember nothing except their training. Turns out they are on a ship carrying humans to a new, habitable planet. Foster sets out to reset the reactor, because he knows how to do that and if he doesn't reset it, everyone on board will die. He encounters many pasty white friends that want to devour him along the way.

On his epic journey to the reactor, he finds other humans. He meets a very attractive German woman (Antje Traue) who he falls in love with, but sadly does not have sex with. He finds an Indian man who speaks no English, but by his armband can be identified as an agriculture expert. This trio stumbles upon a black man, a former chef of the ship who attempts to make a meal out of them. Racial stereotype much, writers Milloy and Avlart?

Bower then enters a dark room with his miscellaneous tagalongs in tow, creepy aliens (most likely costumes borrowed from "Men in Black") come out, and the crew runs away like little girls. Rinse and repeat! This one scene was repeated over and over again in what looked like the same two rooms, one square and one circular to mix it up a bit.

The 80-minute drawn out trip to the reactor leaves the audience hoping, almost begging and pleading, that Foster would get eaten, or at least mauled in an entertaining way. The most epic battle scene, hands down, takes place near the end of the movie when, you guessed it, Quaid, suffering from Pandorum, fights himself! He even loses, and shoots himself with a tranquilizer! This psychological disorder, from which the movie derives its title, emulates being boarded up in a ship for so long you go insane. Creative, huh?

If you have action figures of characters from "Stargate," "Star Trek," "Star Wars," or pretty much any other movie with "star" in the title in your dorm room (or your room at home if you're too embarrassed to bring them), this movie is gold. For the majority of college students, there are definitely more enjoyable options out there.

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