Summer plans that don't involve leaving your chair

Congratulations! You've slept through enough exams, stolen enough dorm furniture and drank enough 10 a.m. beers to merit a bona fide, genuine-article, accept-no-substitutes UConn diploma! Wasn't that hard? Pat yourself on the back, buddy, you've earned it…no, with the other hand. You don't want to spill your beer.

Anyway, all that work, it tires a person out. And you're supposed to keep working? "Oh, it's so hard to find a job," "oh, I've been sending out billions of resumes and nobody calls me back." That's what you're supposed to be doing! More work! No. After four years, you are through. This summer, you are done working. For that matter, you're done getting up out of your chair. Here's your itinerary:

Learn a zany instrument

You've always wanted to impress your friends with an unusual musical talent, and everyone's tired of your armpit-fart "Crazy Train." But many instruments, like the double bass and the giant pile of tuned monkey skulls, require that you stand up to practice! Difficult!

Fortunately, there are plenty of music-makers that allow you to indulge your bountiful butt cheeks: the musical saw, for instance, can be played sitting down. And it's not hard to learn, or so I've heard! Even if it is, you've got plenty of time, since you're not working and it doesn't cost much money, which is great, since you're not working.

Saw teeth too scary? No worries - learn the harmonica! It's a party trick and an essential nugget of distilled Americana rolled up in one. Got some extra cash? Buy a theremin.

And if it's too much effort to drive to the store, stay home and work on those vocal chops. Ever tried to yodel? Ever tried to freestyle? I bet you could.

Start a blog

With dozens of free blogging services, never before has your La-Z-Boy been such a perfect soapbox. If you have opinions and a functional motor cortex, you can shout your thoughts from the highest digital peaks - and on the Internet, someone will want to hear them.

If you plumb the craggy depths of your brain, you'll find at least one topic you're an absolute expert on, whether it's dumpster diving or videos of cats falling over. If you can think it, you can write it, and someone probably wants to read it.

And don't worry about accuracy or integrity, because nobody on the Internet is right about anything.

Sketch people you don't know

What? You can't draw? Yeah, you can. It goes like this: take a pencil and some paper. Look at someone. Draw what you see. Keep doing this until they freak out and call the cops. Then you go home and you go on Facebook - where you can draw anyone, even strangers, in any level of social disorder. And photos never move, they never get bored, they never look over your shoulder and make a gross face at your crappy art. It's a win-win situation: you win once, because you're flexing some artistic muscle you didn't even know you had, and you win again, because nobody's there to laugh at your struggles. Try it - it's very relaxing.

Re-read your favorite children's book series

Once, when I was home sick from school, I tried to read every "Animorphs" book I owned in a day. I couldn't do it - but now I can. Being a graduate is like being home sick from school every day. And whether it's "Goosebumps" or "The Baby-sitters Club," every stressed-out scholar can benefit from a little trip down Memory Lane (or, as the case may be, Memory Superhighway With A Flaming 18-Wheeler Across All Five Lanes, especially during the later "Animorphs" books). Grab some ginger ale, bug your dad until he makes some chicken soup and curl up with the only books you ever really needed to read.

OK, maybe you can't live under that big, flat rock in your parents' backyard forever. Maybe one day, you'll need to roll up those sleeves and bury your hands in the sweet earth. Maybe one day. In the meantime, start saving. You'll need a comfortable chair.