Correct priorities important

Listen up UConn because it's time for a psychology lesson, Maslow style.

According to Abraham Maslow, a world famous psychologist, deficiency orientation is a condition that affects nearly everyone.

It is the preoccupation with the perceived need for material things. People who are more concerned with having a huge house, an expensive car, fancy clothes and a Rolex instead of developing and maintaining meaningful relationships and enjoying the little things in life would be considered deficiently oriented. Let's start with an example. Have you ever watched "Cribs" or one of those other generic "look how rich I am, don't you wish you were me" shows? Chances are you saw an outrageously large house, a Hummer, Ferrari and Lamborghini in the driveway and five to 10 scantily clad women by the pool. Does this sound like the life to you? Were you jealous when you saw this?

Chances are you will answer "yes," because Maslow was right - most people are deficiently oriented, especially in America and other capitalist countries. If you truly believe these things would make you happy and that they are missing from your life, you'll want to listen very carefully.

Ultimately, deficiently oriented people come to see life as a rather meaningless existence, filled with little more than dull boredom and constant disappointment. Deficiently oriented people are likely to attempt to fulfill their needs for belonging and for love, but will never be able to do so because they only focus on what a relationship can give them, like money. You might describe this type of person as "gold digger," but the fact is it goes much deeper. These people are prone to being extremely jealous and focusing on what is missing in a relationship. In the end they can never truly be happy and they will never experience love.

It's hard to describe in words the utter importance of recognizing and understanding what little value material things hold and what is really going to make you happy. A Hummer and a huge house will only be exciting until you get used to them. It's called habituation and it is a component of human psychology. The only things we don't seem to habituate to are love, friendship, laughter, happiness and satisfaction.

As you may well have recognized, these are not material things. Finding these things in life, which can be done at any age, is what is going to make you happy. Maslow argued that in order to find these things, we need to become growth oriented. In a nutshell, this means not focusing on what is missing in life, but focusing on what you have, what you are and what you can do. Do you have two working arms, legs, eyes and ears? Do you appreciate the fact you are a normal functioning person and that you don't face the daily pain and challenge of someone who is handicapped? Do you appreciate the fact you can eat everyday and get the nourishment your body needs? Do you value the opportunity you have to attend a university and become educated, giving you genuine opportunities in life? Do you ever just stop to take in the fresh air and the scents around you?

These, my friends, are the little things we have that need to be appreciated, but appreciating the things we take for granted is something that requires a conscious effort. I don't hesitate for a moment to think happiness is a reward well worth a little conscious effort to appreciate what I have in life.

According to Maslow, if you are growth oriented, your end goal is self-actualization and peak experiences. You experience ecstasy just from being alive. Other religions draw a parallel in nirvana. Being alive and knowing you are utilizing your full potential alters your brain chemistry and neural connections to put you in a state of mind you cannot even begin to fathom, and neither can I - I've never been there.

But I will tell you that a Crib, a Ferrari and a hot poolside stripper won't get you there.