Illegal immigration is spreading across America like the plague in medieval Europe, conjuring up images of damned cities and bringing pain and suffering to millions of unsuspecting Americans. The chains of suffering have been born for way too long by maintaining the status quo and not voicing our opinions to the world. It is time to stand up for our beliefs and take back our country from the hands of those unwanted huddled masses.
The wave of illegal immigrants descending on our nation needs to be stopped and those who already made it here need to be sent back. It is time Americans take back their country and their pride. It won't be an easy fight, but rest assured, it will be a victorious one. We just need to unionize and get together to fight for the common good.
This glorious and awe-inspiring nation has to stand firm in its beliefs and not let anybody jeopardize its morals with primitive alternative ones such as illegal immigrants should have rights too. The U.S. believes in equality and human rights more than any other country on the planet. Americans believe in true equality, equality in accordance with the law of the land, which holds the ultimate and unquestionable truth. The law should be loved and revered by all, instead, it is being disregarded and overstepped by many. Americans are all legally equal and those outside the law are less equal than others. Therefore, unlawful immigrants are justly ineligible to have the same rights. The lack of veneration for the law is completely insufferable and degrading for our morale. We already have problems with people disrespecting the law by wanting to marry their questionable counterparts and other such nonsense. America really doesn't need any more people ignoring its laws and settling in its neighborhoods, pristine valleys and prairies illegally.
The number of supporters of illegal immigration in America is alarmingly high. These liberal conspirators and lawless propagators need to find hobbies other than fighting for social justice for illegal immigrants. The fact remains that they have forcefully invaded the country, are taking over jobs, and are not paying any taxes. All the while they enjoy undeserved benefits. Those who march at immigration rallies with banners should think about their fellow jobless Americans, sitting at home and watching the reruns of "America's Next Top Model" and be ashamed. Anybody who stands up for illegal immigrant rights is doing a disservice to their own country.
The nation has not been fighting for so many years for justice and equality to now just let anybody into paradise. Foreigners should respect America's laws the same way we respect international laws. America is one of the few countries with a deep commitment to the legal system and it's not about to change anytime soon. For example, while most of the other industrialized countries have shown weakness of resolve by abolishing capital punishment, America has repeatedly shown its dedication and faith in its superior legal system. Anybody who breaks laws, hence spitting on the face of the law, needs to be punished. That's why the necessary works of volunteer border patrol groups, like the Minuteman Project and others, should be applauded. They are true patriots, serving their nation by apprehending those who are illegal and potentially dangerous from invading American soil.
Any infection could be fatal if not treated right away with proper medicine. America has to wake up from our mental state and come up with a potent cure against illegal immigration. Perhaps tighter border control, harsher punishments for violators and the construction of a wall? Regardless, the opposite reaction to these illegal actions is long overdue. The Statue of Liberty is outdated - the tired, poor and huddled masses need to be yearning for freedom somewhere else.
Staff Columnist Elnara Eynullayeva is a 1st-year graduate student studying economics. She can be contacted at Elnara.Eynullayeva@UConn.edu.
Editor's Note: This column is intended as a satire.
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