Instant Daily

I made it on the cover of The Daily Campus, but I'd rather be in the InstantDaily.

To the guy on the third floor of New London who keeps pissing on the seat: if you have a short bat, stand closer to home plate.

If the geese on Mirror Lake don't stop quacking by Friday, I'm having goose instead of turkey for Thanksgiving next week.

I see London, I see France, I see Jonathan the Husky's underpants!

So I just saw a guy park his car in a handicapped spot, walk to the trunk, get the wheelchair out, sit down and wheel himself away. I'm glad to see that they thoroughly screen everyone applying for a handicapped sticker to make sure they are legit disabled.

So I decided that I'm going to incorporate a bank and apply for a piece of the $700 billion bailout. At least I would spend it and support the economy.