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Instant Daily

Published: Friday, May 2, 2008

Updated: Friday, August 23, 2013 17:08

If I really wanted to get into the last InstantDaily, I'd say something stupid, like, "To the squirrel that winked at me on my way to class: Right back at ya. Sorry I was wearing sunglasses."

If I had a nickel for every time I touched myself while my roommate was sleeping, I would have a small fortune.

I'm sorry to say that if I don't get into the InstantDaily by the end of this week, I'm going to have to use my power to shut The Daily Campus down until August.

The Stall Street News "Capitan Condom" comics make me wish I was still reading "Stick Cat."

I'm from New Jersey and I have two words for you, Connecticut: Hop off!

Eds. Note: Well, that's it folks. You've laughed, and you've cried laughed more. The regular version of The Daily Campus is done for the year. We hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as we've enjoyed making it. Stay tuned for the Graduation Issue. Also, one more thing: West Virginia just scored again.

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