For once, put aside all thoughts of exemption and move to internalize a truth men have feared to acknowledge: every man plays a role in sexual assault. While some men decide to actively assault women, the vast majority of men assault passively, choosing to remain immobile and disassociate with the brutality of such violence.
Now, however, it is time to revolutionize this reality. I am tired of living passively in this "culture of rape." It is tiresome reading about women who have been hurt by a man's hands in the acts of sexual assault. For I know not the pains of these women; I have no right to speak on their behalf. The males reading this may never know me and may hate me for what I write. But, hopefully, you will remember the message conveyed here.
Call me the most hurtful of words for addressing each of you. I will forever welcome such dialogue if you will finally tell me that one of my four sisters, one of my eight aunts, one of my friends or any other female will remain untouched. For every time a man hurts a woman, he assaults all the females of my past, present and future self.
Still, it must be noted how I am guilty as well. It wasn't until the other night that I realized my own gendered role in sexual violence. As I walked through the darkened campus, there were men walking around - men who moved with a sense of possession and utter poise, as if they owned the darkness. There was a female coming in my direction and she immediately grabbed her phone and clenched her purse to her side, seemingly prepared for an attack. Then, as I passed her, she looked at me with more suspicion. I simply could not understand.
Had I done something wrong by looking in her direction? Did she automatically assume things about me by the sway of my walk, the height of my body or the length of my step? Sure. She knew me as a man - a faceless creature of our society - the one whose stereotype is perpetuated every time another man sexually assaults a woman. She need not fear my presence. Yet, until the time comes where men stand united to end sexual violence, women will be forced to look at the unknown man with a sense of skepticism.
Until men stop using a language of inequality, stop objectifying women, stop patronizing our sisters and start speaking openly about the collective pain inflicted on women, the torture will live on. Yet, the torment will not only mark the female community, but every man in this world. A man's future sons, nephews, and grandsons will be forced to enter a world where their reputations are already stained by older men's actions, or lack thereof.
Now, men, please think back to your youths. Think to a time when drinking wasn't a pastime, when voices were much lighter, where lust did not hold center frame, and where stares would not demean the women in your life. Were you less of a person then? Was it not possible to enjoy the company of others without calling women "whores" or "sluts?" When did the man, who was once a boy, first hear these terms? When did a man last pause to question his voice in society? Have men wondered how many women have been wounded through actions and words? How many women have been injured by a man's failure to act on things he knew to be wrong? How about now? How many of your sisters, mothers, aunts, friends and classmates move fearfully past a faceless man?
That is why it is your personal responsibility, fellow man, to begin a movement in uniting men against sexual violence. You must be vocal. You must speak loudly. You must make yourself known. As a man, you have allowed sexual assault to live. But, as a man, you have the chance to make sexual assault come to its end.
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