Top College News Subscribe to the Newsletter

NAMBLA is ... real?

Published: Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Updated: Friday, August 23, 2013 17:08


I think my favorite episode of "South Park" has to be when Cartman joins the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) and almost gets him and all his friends molested by 40-year-old men. Hysterical. But it wasn't until recently that I discovered the startling truth behind the episode: NAMBLA is real.

For those who haven't seen the episode, here's one scene in which a group of NAMBLA members attempts to liberate two child molesters from prison:

NAMBLA Leader: We demand you release these men at once! Officer Barbrady: Who are you?!

NAMBLA Leader: We are NAMBLA! The North American Man-Boy Love Association and we heard about these political prisoners you're keeping! Barbrady: Political prisoners?! No! These are child molesters!

NAMBLA Leader: Loving young boys has been around since the time of the Romans, pal! There's nothing wrong with it! We are an organization dedicated to showing that sex between a man and a young boy can be a beautiful thing!

NAMBLA Members: YEAH!

Barbrady: Uh, I don't know who you are, but these men aren't going anywhere until I hear from the FBI.

NAMBLA Leader: All these men wanted was to love a young boy! There is nothing wrong with love!

Barbrady: Wow! They got activists for everything these days.

When I learned NAMBLA was real, I immediately hit up Google for their web site. I thought the creators of "South Park" must have been exaggerating as there's no way an organization could be dedicated to the cause they imply. But as it turns out, most of the dialogue of the NAMBLA leader and members in the episode was pulled conceptually verbatim off of www.nambla.org.

Here's the headline at the top of the page: "NAMBLA's membership is open to everyone sympathetic to personal freedom. Our goal is to end the oppression of men and boys who have freely chosen, mutually consensual relationships."

And here's one of the inspiring quotes they've posted on their homepage by someone name David Thorstad: "Freedom is indivisible. The liberation of children, women, boy-lovers, and homosexuals in general, can occur only as complementary facets of the same dream."

I'm with you on children, all the way, sure - no child labor. And women, of course, and minorities of all types should have equal rights and protections under the law. Homosexuals, of course, also deserve the right to lead lives the way they see fit. Also, it's becoming clear some people may even be born with genetic tendencies toward homosexuality, giving critics of homosexual behavior reassurance that the lifestyle isn't "deviant" from anything but human imposed social norms.

Here's where Thorstad looses me with his "dream," though: where he sneaks in the term "boy-lovers." I think "South Park's" Stan and Kyle have the best rebuttal:

NAMBLA leader: I've learned something today - our forefathers came to this country because they believed in an idea, an idea called freedom. They wanted to live in a place where groups couldn't be prosecuted for their beliefs, where a person can live the way he chooses to live. You see us as being perverted because we're different from you. People are afraid of us, because they don't understand. And sometimes, it's easier to persecute than to understand.

Kyle: Dude ... you have sex with children.

NAMBLA leader: We are human. Most of us didn't even choose to be attracted to young boys, we were born that way. And if you can't understand that, well, then I guess you'll just have to put us away.

Kyle: Dude ... you have sex ... with children.

Stan: Yeah... you know, we believe in equality for everybody and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but ... dude ... F--- you.

NAMBLA is a political interest group combating the politics of what they call "ageism." Ageism is the concept that people of all ages should be allowed to exercise freedom to choose whom to love and what to do with their own bodies. However, it comes off like they're trying to justify old men sleeping with little boys. Maybe, though, it's because ... they are.

Their web site banners a picture of the Supreme Court house in Washington under a link that brings the visitor to an array of lawsuits involving homosexuality. The lawsuits, however, mostly concern rulings against the oppression of homosexuals, which NAMBLA triumphs as having scored a blow (alright, pun intended) for their cause.

But we must admit: there is a marked difference between promoting equality for all and promoting pedophilia. Having read through the NAMBLA web site, it's apparent they don't hide at any juncture their approval of explicitly sexual relationships between middle-aged homosexual men and preteen to teenage boys. In fact, it's just the opposite: they encourage those relationships as healthy.

NAMBLA cries, "the criminal justice system fails to differentiate between "individuals accused of coercive or violent sexual acts against youngsters and consensual, loving relationships between younger and older people." Where I differ with them is their belief that this is a bad thing.

Though it may be true (albeit amazing to this heterosexual writer) that there can exist a healthy and consensual relationship between adult males and young men, ever allowing such a thing under law would be a mistake. Sexual abuse is rampant and predominately unreported. Young children are impressionable and can be seduced or coerced by an older, more powerful or respected figure like a leader in the church, for instance. Giving child molesters and pedophiles that abuse children a potential loophole in the judicial system can only be a bad thing, period. Though NAMBLA claims one of their goals is working closely with the gay and lesbian community, I believe the movement for gay rights and, specifically, gay marriage should distance themselves. That might quell the fears of some parties that believe allowing gay marriage will also lead to further legitimization of polygamy or cases of people marrying their dogs at a later date.

Recommended: Articles that may interest you

Be the first to comment on this article! Log in to Comment

You must be logged in to comment on an article. Not already a member? Register now

Log In