We all need to be more friendly

It is the week after an important election. This column should be about politics. Right? Wrong - Politics is extremely important, but not all-important. Politics should always be in the news, but it should never be the only thing in the newspaper.

Writing about politics or complaining about election results is easy. Unfortunately, not even all the complaining in the world can change some things. For this reason, this column is dedicated to provoking thought about something more important than politics - friendship. Certainly, if friendship can be the topic of a multi-million dollar song recording, it can be a topic of newspaper columns.

The world we live in is an increasingly interconnected and technological place. This is a time where people are connected through e-mail, instant messenger and cell phones. Yet, it is also an increasingly face-paced, run-run-run, pay-as-you go society. As a result, we have forgotten how to be good friends.

As a whole, we need to become better friends. We need to learn to be more appreciative of diversity. We must conquer time constraints to make sure we devote enough time to people. We must become better listeners and more substantive talkers. We should learn to say hello to strangers. We need to become children again. Only by becoming better human beings and better individuals can we even fathom attempting to conquer the greatest political problems of oppression, injustice and resistance.

When we were children, people were innocent and confident. As we got older, human relationships became complicated and hazy. We are quick to presume and too willing to assume. We are quick to judge, yet we are afraid to be judged. We always wonder what others may think of us, yet we fail to think kindly about others.

Certainly, this university is a center of knowledge and learning, but it is also a center of individuals learning who they really are. It is a place where a student can earn a degree with a great amount of effort, but also a venue to make friends.

As we look back on our college years, we will remember those professors who challenged us to be the best we can be. But, we will also always remember and support the friends we make for this reason - friendship is omni-important.

Friendship is not a game nor is it a competition. The best friends are often not the most popular and the most popular are often not the most happy. True happiness is found not by having the most friends, but by having good quality friends. Defining a "best friend" is a near impossible task, yet is easily recognizable to a discerning eye.

First, we need to have a better general attitude about people. Too often we forget to be nice to strangers. We should be willing to walk up to someone in class and carry on a conversation. Uncertainty should not be feared, it should be welcomed. Furthermore, do not let age barriers prevent progress. Become friends with professors and individuals who are of a different generation.

We also need to spend more time - quality time, not party time - with our friends. It is very easy to get entangled in schoolwork or video games. Instead, we need to make more time for ourselves and for the people we consider our friends. Sometimes, hanging out in a big group just does not cut it either. Along those lines, never let a relationship get in the way of a friendship. It is increasingly important to spend one on one time with people who are important to you - so that you can listen to what they have to say.

People should become better listeners as well. Listening is a critical skill, yet very difficult. Repeating a random statement that someone never expected you to remember is a sign of good listening and it will be appreciated. We all need to vent and undoubtedly people will vent to us. We should listen so that we hear what our friends are saying, or what they are trying to say - not what we want them to say.

But, the same is true for talking. We need to learn to say what is on our minds, not what we think society wants to hear. All too often we fear to put our emotions into words. It is extremely important to talk about the concepts that no one wants to talk about because if we do not, they will never be addressed.

We should be willing to put aside our personal gains in order to help our friends. A very wise person once told me that college is about making choices and a day will come where we will have to choose between studying for an exam or helping a friend. I was also told that we should always decide to help the friend, even if it means failing the exam. This is exactly right. How can we expect to help the poor and the sick if we cannot even put aside our own personal lives to help a friend?

Abraham Lincoln wrote, "The better part of one's life consists of his friendships." Friends are too important for us not to tell them how much they mean to us. Friends are too important to assume as definite. True friends reinvigorate and reinvent the individual persona. Let your true friends teach you about life, human nature and yourself.

Never take a friend for granted. Instead, remember that even best friends need to tell each other how important they are. Perhaps this is why we are quick to forward an e-mail to our friends. Perhaps we forward those friendship stories as a sign that we care. Perhaps we forward them because we are all very busy people and sending an e-mail forward is extremely convenient.

However, being a good friend was never meant to be convenient. True friends take the time to invest themselves into their friends. They become part of their friends and they let their friends become part of them.