Why New Jersey is the best state in America

To avoid scribbling about the same old subjects this week (one can only take so much of Iraq, Schwarzenegger and Rush Limbaugh's reform from drug addiction before losing one's lunch) and due to my growing excitement about returning home for the holidays and escaping the monotonous Storrs atmosphere for a while, I proudly present why good ol' Dirty Jersey isn't as bad as you New England folk want it to be. In fact, not only is Jersey an apt competitor, it beats out many other parts of this country by a long mile. A New Yorker born and raised, I was particularly troubled when I discovered that I was moving a mere few minutes to New Jersey. My young mind was perplexed as to how we could go from a place so great to a state that didn't even have its own football team (apparently I have moved down the chain even lower, for Connecticut's lack of athletics is astounding. Go Huskies?). Yet somehow, New Jersey found a place within my stubborn New York pride, and there it resides to this day; the place I now call home. For those of you who may not have caught on, I used the term Dirty Jersey in the most sarcastic of senses. For those of you who have been there, we certainly do have our dirty places like Bayonne and Jersey City, but it seems like many people act as if the rest of this country is a gem, while New Jersey is the scum of the earth. We also have places like Princeton and Short Hills. Then there's Connecticut, home to Greenwich, the snobbiest place on earth and Bridgeport, a toxic wasteland if I ever saw one. Now let's talk Ivy League for a moment. Yale certainly has the most depressing campus of the big three, with Harvard coming in a close second. Princeton, on the other hand, has a beautiful campus, not only in architecture but in landscaping as well. A long two-lane road lined with trees brings you over a stone bride, across the river and onto campus, which has still managed to maintain its small-town feel in the most densely populated state in the nation. No matter what time of day it is, there is always something to do in New Jersey. While it may not be the Garden State, it certainly is the Diner State. How many times have you wished there was a place that you could go after leaving the bar to hang out with your friends? The closest thing we have to that here is the parking lot of Store 24, or a dorm room. In Jersey we can cruise a few blocks over from the bar and over to our favorite diner- the best place in the world for good conversation and a burger at 4 a.m. In Connecticut, unless you are near a major urban center, it's impossible to find anything open after 10 o'clock, except a bar of course (and the administration wonders why people drink so much). Jersey is a haven for shoppers. Bored? Just hit up the mall, or should I say malls. With the largest selection of stores, we've got Freehold Raceway, Jersey Gardens, Menlo Park, Ridgewood and Paramus Park a mere hour and half away from each other on all sides of the northern part of the state. Want to see a movie? In Jersey a student pays a mere $5, so think about that the next time you shell out nine at Buckland Hills. Now I'm not going to lie, our highway system, particularly the New Jersey Turnpike, is pretty terrible. While the merge after exit 8A that everyone always complains about is certainly the worst invention I have ever seen, we also have a great idea - a separate lane for cars and trucks, which gives us essentially eight lanes on either side. And trust me; with the amount of traffic flow down there, it's more than needed. The Turnpike is divided into four lanes for trucks and four for cars on either side. Here's a hint: while it may appear that there would be more traffic on the truck side, this is not usually so. Truck drivers tend to drive rather swiftly and there tends to be fewer of them than there are cars. So when traveling to this great state and you see the lanes divide after the George Washington Bridge, take my advice: the truck lanes are the way to go. We're home to the Nets and the Devils, and though they may be the New York Giants, they certainly play in New Jersey, so I'm not quite sure what's going on there. And while I am sure these teams will never measure up in stature to the all-mighty American League Champion Red Sox, they play some of the best ball and hockey I've ever seen. Oh wait, sorry, the Red Sox lost to a New York team. My fault. Our unofficial state song, "I'm from New Jersey and I'm Proud About It," is the best state song ever. Hands down. We also know every Bon Jovi song ever made, which comes in handy at karaoke nights in bars across the country. We are home to not the beach but the shore, and Cape May puts Cape Cod to shame, with its equally beautiful Victorian homes, quaint bed and breakfasts and far superior beaches. For something more exciting we've got Seaside, home to the MTV beach house for several years, and Ocean City, places where you can stay for days with only a couple of dollars and a towel. So rag all you want, but the fact of the matter is, Jersey has it licked. But wherever you're going home to this Thanksgiving, enjoy, rest up and get ready for the final academic onslaught in three weeks. Unless of course you call Massachusetts home, in which case I would like to express the greatest of condolences.