Column: The Not-So-Mailbag

It's that time again. Here are this month's questions for the Not-So-Mailbag.

What are the odds that Chase Utley's power comes from his greased-up hair? - J.P. from Storrs

If we're being honest here, I wish I could slick back my hair like Chase Utley. Imagine living through life without having to worry about hat hair.

According to a report last season, Utley slicks his hair back with L.A. Looks hair gel, which, to the poor college kid or journalist, is a good sign because a bottle of that goodness will only set you back $3.

Now, in terms of Utley's hitting power, some of it definitely comes from his greased up hair. When he starts to perspire, the the chemical reaction that takes place between the gel and the sweat stimulates the same type of reaction that goes on when Bruce Banner gets angry and turns into the Hulk.

Is Tim Tebow Superman? - Micah from Washington

Have you ever heard the story of Tebow's birth? Apparently, his parents Bob and Pam Tebow were serving as Christian missionaries in the Philippines when Pam was pregnant with Tim. During the pregnancy, Pam suffered a life-threatening infection from a pathogenic amoeba picked up from the drinking water there. Doctors expected a stillbirth and recommended an abortion to protect Pam's life. Instead, Pam carried Tim to term and he was born on August 14, 1987 in the Philippines.

Right off the bat, one has to think Tim was going to be an extraordinary child. He was home-schooled by his mother and later went on to be the first home-schooled athlete to be nominated for the Heisman Trophy.

There's a story that says when Tebow was in high school, he finished a game after breaking his leg.

The man spends his off-season preaching to prisoners, raising money for charities and baptizing Third World children. One time, on a mission in the Philippines, it is said he performed some circumcisions.

Tebow does all of this, in addition to being the face of college football.

So is Tim Tebow Superman? No, he's simply a cooler version of Clark Kent. But with that being said, I'd sure hate to run into Tebow when he dons the 'S' on his chest.

If you poked Rex Ryan with a sharp stick, would his belly deflate like a balloon? - Perry from Storrs

At first, I was surprised that Rex Ryan didn't reprimand his quarterback Mark Sanchez for eating that hot dog during the Jets game against Oakland. Then I thought about it and realized it was probably Ryan who gave Sanchez the hot dog from his own sideline buffet.

But if you poked Ryan's belly with a sharp stick, I don't think he would deflate like a balloon. Instead, I think it would be more like how the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man explodes at the end of "Ghostbusters," except instead of marshmallow raining down on the city, it would be hot dogs.

Who would win in an eating contest: Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco? - Matt from Rochester

I have to give this one to Terrell Owens, only because he is literally the larger of the two athletes.

Of course it would depend on what food they were eating. If it was any type of Spanish or Cuban food, Ochocinco would win hands down. But I can't tell you the last time I saw a Spanish or Cuban food-eating contest.

What would Jeff Adrien do for a Klondike bar? - Kate from Storrs

This is how the question should be posed: "What would a Klondike bar do for Jeff Adrien?"