Playing the nice game

Somewhere out there, in an alternate universe perhaps, Dwyane Wade isn't playing for the Miami Heat.

Now, I'm not talking about a hypothetical situation in which the Detroit Pistons draft Wade over Darko Milicic with the second pick in the 2003 draft. I'm not even talking about the Denver Nuggets or Toronto Raptors selecting him with the third and fourth picks in the draft.

Nope. Somewhere, Wade is playing for the Miami Flamingos, or if he's lucky, the Miami Waves.

I'm talking about 1988. The year I was born, the year George Bush was elected the 41st president and the year Miami got a professional basketball team.

In trying to find a name for the Miami team, the franchise held a "name the team" contest. There were three choices, the Heat, the Flamingos and the Waves. Twenty thousand fans later, the Heat franchise was born.

You can take a moment to think about what it might be like to call yourself a Flamingos fan. Not a pretty picture.

The histories behind the NBA team names vary in many ways. Some are as simple as a 'name the team" contest. Others have historical meanings that date as far back to the 1600s. (The Knicks - originally named the Knickerbockers - are references to the style of pants the Dutch wore when they settled the area now known as New York. Knickerbockers were pants rolled up just below the knee, or the length of modern day NBA shorts.)

In all cases, the names that all NBA fans have come to know are all unique. Here's how some of the NBA team names came to exist.

"Name the team" contests.

Cleveland Cavaliers - In 1970, there were 11,000 entries to name the Cleveland franchise. Choices included the Jays, the Foresters and the Presidents.

Rumor has it, there was one entry for the Cleveland LeBron's, but the name had no meaning in 1970. Forty years later, I think it might have won.

Orlando Magic - One year after Miami was selected to host an NBA team, Orlando was the next Florida city to take in an NBA team. The names in the contest were the Magic, the Juice and the Tropics.

Personally, I love juice, especially 100 percent pure Florida orange juice. It seems like the right answer presented itself. But instead, we have the Magic.

Phoenix Suns - In 1968, the great state of Arizona got its first professional sports team. The only thing it needed was a name. The choices were the Scorpions, the Rattlers, the Wranglers, the Cougars, the Thunderbirds and the Mavericks.

Actually, in this case, I think the fans got it right. The Suns? It works. Sun was such a great name that Connecticut - the land of the rising sun, in my mind - decided to use it to name its WNBA team.

Philadelphia 76ers - Unlike the others, this contest selected one lucky person to name the franchise. Walt Stahlberg and his 76ers idea was chosen. Stahlberg wanted the 76ers because of Philadelphia's roll in the Declaration of Independence, which was signed in Philadelphia in 1776.

This Stahlberg was a smart fellow. Naming a team after the year in which one of the greatest American documents was signed is brilliant. Unfortunately 1676 - another year ending in 76 - was the year of Bacon's Rebellion. If you don't know about Bacon's Rebellion, look it up. Not cool Stahlberg. Not cool.

Minnesota Timberwolves - There were two choices in this contest, the Timberwolves and the Polars.

Fact of the day - Minnesota is home to the largest population of Timberwolves in the lower 48 states.

Interesting Histories.

Chicago Bulls - In 1966 Bulls owner Dick Klein decided to name his new team the Bulls because of the city's livestock industry.

What better name for a Bull than Jordan?

New Jersey Nets - The Nets originally started in New Jersey as the Americans, but had an eight year stint as the New York Nets. The team was named the Nets because it rhymed with two of the city's other professional sports teams, the Mets and the Jets. When the team moved back to New Jersey, it decided to keep the name.

The name makes sense, because I love to rhyme. All the time. While chewing a lime.

New Orleans Hornets - The entire franchise behind the Hornets' name is complicated. But long story short, when the Hornets were starting up in Charlotte, the name was chosen because during the revolutionary war, when British General Cornwallis met resistance in North Carolina he said, "There's a rebel behind every bush, it's a veritable nest of hornets."

The story is so interesting, it should have its own show in the history channel. There'd be at least two interested viewers, me and my grandfather.

Memphis Grizzlies - I'm old enough to remember the Grizzlies when they played in Vancouver. So when they were choosing a name, the franchise originally went with the Mounties. But when the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (also known as Mounties) objected, the name was changed to the Grizzlies.

Canadians are funny.

Dumb stories behind NBA team names.

Actually there's only one NBA team that I think has a dumb history and that's the Utah Jazz. The Jazz used to be the name of the New Orleans team back in the 70s. New Orleans is known for its jazz, so the name made sense. But in 1979, the team moved to Utah where jazz hasn't been discovered yet.

I'm convinced that the reason the Jazz have never won a championship is because of they kept the name that rightfully belongs to New Orleans. Oh, and also because they could never beat a guy named Michael.