Instant Daily: 2.13

Today definitely seems like a good day to get refocused upon school work oh hey Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition why of course I’d love to look at you all day.

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

If anybody needs me, I’ll be jumping off the lower levels of North Garage into the giant snow piles.

I’ve run out of wold-related puns at the moment, but mark my word. I shall return with even more.

If my Twitter feed has taught me anything, it’s that I am the smartest human being currently living on this planet.

Very disappointed that Obama once again refused to address the Confederacy in his State of the Union. Are we really not going to acknowledge this Civil War? What are you hiding from us Obama?!?!

My grandma got a parking ticket today for running over some lady’s groceries in a Big Y parking lot back home. It has been a VERY bad week for Germans.

I’ll tell ya what. I just ate a pound of stir fry.

UConn administration, I don’t think anybody will remain mad at you if you just apologize and cancel class tomorrow. What snow covered paths? I don’t see any!

Listen up Syracuse. You’re fruit, and we’re the premier canine of all-time. Just go home already.