InstantDaily: 4.6

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Mooyah corrupts my digestive system absolutely.

Taking Statistics 1 in the fall of my freshman year and Statistics 2 in the spring of my senior year... that’s what I call a statistically significant error.

We put liquid paper on a bee... and it died.

Imagine being 100 percent naked and hearing a bunch of loud noises you don’t understand. That’s called being an animal.

You wanna party? It’s $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling. End of list.

Is it embarrassing to admit that I’m really liking ABBA right now?

Then, God made Saturn. And he liked it, so he put a ring on it.

When you’re in your fifties and your music class is doing an assignment about Twitter, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Opening April 2013: Wale’s Chicken Coop

Everybody get up, it’s time to slam now. We’ve got a real jam going down now. Welcome to the Space Jam. Here’s your chance, do your dance, at the Space Jam. Alright.

Sometimes I think there’s a monster that lives in my stomach and that’s why I’m always hungry.

But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community!