InstantDaily: 9.27

To the boy who sneezed and then instantly put hand sanitizer on: marry me? We can be germophobes together <3

If the squirrels on this campus get bath salts none of our faces are safe...none

To the girl chasing a groundhog outside south, what would you have done if you caught it?

I can’t shake the dreadful feeling that the Teletubbies on campus were the administration’s way of letting us know of an impending mascot change...

Arjona bit me.

If your snore sounds like The Grudge noise and you have long black hair, please don’t ever nap next to me in lecture again.

I’m Mrs. Butts and I don’t think my name is funny.

It’s supposed to rain this weeekend. Thanks a lot, Obama.

Now before you freshmen start thinking you have UConn all figured out: Jonathan Mandeldove. Bet you don’t know what to think now.

The worst part about being stranded on a deserted island would probably be the lack of cookies.