Cummins brings the spoons

A crowd of around 80 students was treated to Dan Cummins for SUBOG’s Thursday night comedy series.

Cummins has been featured on Comedy Central on multiple occasions as well as talk shows like “The Tonight Show” and “Last Comic Standing.” Cummins is currently on tour and will be at Hartford’s Funny Bone for the first four days in November.

Cummins brought a unique style of comedy that encompassed taboo topics, college situations and overly weird scenarios.

“And now I’m sitting on a Ferris wheel, with a hand puppet of a dead squirrel, controlling the hand puppet of a dead chipmunk, and I can go buy a gun right after. That’s America. God bless this country, you guys, ” Cummins said.

Cummins talked about mentally handicapped ghosts and his experience in San Francisco with his girlfriend, highlighted by her trip down an escalator in a train station. He would eventually transition into his hatred for hipsters and the absurdity of their clothing ensembles.

“Hipsters look like they were forced to reach in a dark thrift store closet and had to wear everything they touched…When was the last time you checked a mirror?” Cummins said.

The jokes went to 80s movies and the Folsom street fair. Cummins got some hesitant reactions from the audience as he his material became more starkly sexual, but the laughs and interest was consistent throughout. The audience responded very positively when Cummins picked out members showing a lack of enthusiasm.

“I’ve done a lot of shows recently and they went very well, and then I came here and it sucks. I blame you,” Cummins said.

The highlight of the night came when Cummins described a practical joke he performed over a four-month period when he attended Gonzaga. His dining hall had a tray rack for used dishes similar to South Dining Hall’s. Cummins would throw his silverware around the bend, hitting the employees until his final day when he and his friends threw dozens of spoons. Cummins was chased around the dining hall by the employee he hit, running for his life as fellow students watched the hilarious spectacle.

“One of these days he’s going to find me, and he will be standing over my bed while I’m sleeping. I’m hoping he kills me. And the last words I’ll hear will be, ‘here comes the spoons.’ All I’m going to say is, ‘touché,’” Cummins said.

SUBOG hosts about six comedy events a year, spread out incrementally. The event was mostly positive, with the audience voicing strong approval at the end of Cummin’s bit.

“It was great. I’ve come to a couple of these, and I thought he definitely brought it,” said Josh Leman, a student in his third semester. “I hadn’t seen him before, but I’m definitely going to check out his stuff later on YouTube.”