Lessons I've Learned From T.V.: Tranquil club scene?
Published: Sunday, September 22, 2013
Updated: Sunday, September 22, 2013 23:09
We see club, bar and party scenes all the time on television, but have we ever seen an accurate portrayal?
Let’s start with the club scene. Everything is cool and in slow motion. Everyone is smiling, moving and not spilling their drinks. Everyone is having a great time and is super friendly with one another. I suppose the slow motion makes it all appear this way, but the moment we look at it in real time it’s a huge mess. Everything is gross and dirty. Everyone is awkwardly everywhere in a claustrophobic’s worst nightmare. Everybody is bumping into one another, and you can’t hear anything anyone is saying over the loud music. Television likes to show us people having conversations at normal volumes without the necessary screaming into someone’s ear. Instead of the realistic awkward dancing between strangers, we watch these choreographed dance sequences that are highly unrealistic. Clubs can be fun, but it’s never as cinematic as people expect it to be.
At a bar on TV, there’s either a few guys having a drink talking to one another watching a game, or there are a lot of people taking shots, having a good time, but they can still hear one another. There is no loud music or other people present. Nobody is butting into anyone’s conversation and we hardly ever see anybody who has had too much to drink make a scene. A television bar is always a place of solace and tranquility where characters go to have life changing conversations and shocking revelations. We hardly ever see a bar scene for what it really is. We never see a bar filled on a Friday night with people fighting over one another to order drinks yelling over loud music and complaining about the price of expensive drinks. The bartenders are always friendly and wise men who have had so many life experiences that they are experts on almost everything and will point you in the right direction. Maybe I’m going to the wrong bars because I have yet to meet this bartender. I’ve only met two kinds of bartenders in my time. There is the male bartender who just pours your drinks and takes your money or the female bartender dressed in almost nothing to flirt her way into tips from the interested male audience. What’s even funnier than how obvious her attempts are, is they work. If Gandolf the Wizard bartender, who will give me life-changing advice for free does exist, I have yet to see him on my various bar hops. Maybe his first piece of advice to me would be to stop believing everything I see on television.