Instant Daily

Extra-long for your all your finals-related gripes

By:

Posted: 12/8/08

Every time finals come around I realize how much I missed high school.

All of you finals week library dwellers, stay out for the good of the Homer Babbidge faithful.

You know you've been studying too long when you dream about your professor and TA having a sexual relationship.

My roommate wants to make a gingerbread house ... does anyone want to room swap?

Now that I've started watching porn at the library, there isn't a single place on campus I can go to study for exams.

He sees you when you're sleeping, but does Santa Facebook-stalk you too?

Is it bad that I spend more time thinking about an InstantDaily than I do studying for my finals?

Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?

I just found old episodes of "Boy Meets World" online. This does not bode well for the grades on my finals.

Has any other guy come up with the idea to dress up like Santa this weekend and see how many girls will sit on his lap? If not, I call dibs.

Hey guys, if you don't want to take your exams just do what Plaxico did to get out of practice. Shoot yourself in the thigh.

I wish I got paid to procrastinate. Then I'd never have to procrastinate another day in my life.

After watching "Star Wars," I realized that one should never, under any circumstance, trust robots.

My entire PowerPoint presentation showed up in Greek letters. But there's enough Greek life on this campus to make this acceptable right?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

I could study for finals, but I'd rather re-watch all four seasons of "Entourage" instead.

All I want for Christmas is to get into the InstantDaily.

I tried to study but it was Harry Potter weekend on ABC family.

To the girl who took up a whole table for herself and all her books in the library, could you be any more inconsiderate?

Is it wrong that, when I see people sleeping in the library with their shoes on, I feel entitled to write on them with a permanent marker? FYI: You're fair game.

The next time a Q Center tutor judges me for skipping stats, I'm gonna take her pocket protector and draw a penis on it.

I may not pass chem, but I'd pass mixology with flying colors.

Hot girl sitting next to me in the library right now, I love you.

I have been at the library for the past 4 hours. I have watched episodes of "The Simpsons," played Tetris, had lunch and dinner and almost decided to buy a fox-tail. But I did not open a book to study for my first test.

To the kid who didn't think anyone would notice he was watching "Girls Gone Wild" in the library: You weren't alone.

I returned my books to the Co-op today and only got $10 total. Is this the recession or does Buyback just suck?

Some people don't study for finals ... they are naturally smart like me.

The library is just like Santa's workshop ... except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me.

All week I plan on pulling all-nighters ... oh, and I'm gonna study too.