2008 Woodie Awards
My Unhealthy Fascination With Death
Kyle Thomas
Issue date: 4/4/08 Section: Commentary
Call me morbid. Call me sinister. Call me gruesome. Call me a masochist. Accuse me of indulging in schadenfreude. Call me sick, a psycho, a heathen, inhuman, or vulgar. It turns out I truly enjoy death - particularly of the slow and painful variety which takes place before my very eyes.
But, before you start calling the police and report this renegade Daily Campus columnist anytime there is a hole in Swan Lake, know this - I only care about the death of Hillary Clinton. And before the Secret Service comes barging in demanding to know whether I've plotted regicide, I don't really plan to cause harm to the junior senator from New York, I merely intend to revel in her prolonged and painful, almost self-indulgent and self-satirizing exit from the national political stage.
This is where Slate.com comes in.
The geniuses - and I do mean geniuses - at Slate have developed what is clearly the most scientific, nonpartisan and objective measure of the Clinton campaign since the advent of polling. Titled "The Hillary Deathwatch," this daily addition to my Internet digest - complete with graphic illustration of Clinton attempting to abandon a sinking ship while wearing a pantsuit and flotation ring - is a guilty pleasure. It is about as close to a public execution one can see in America - hungry crowds gathering around a written description of the downfall of a once-mythic figure.
It is not Slate's first attempt at a thermometer like assessment of complex national politics and policy issues either and it is certainly not the first dealing with the Clintons. The Clintometer was the first in such a series, beginning in 1998 and stretching into February 1999. It chronicled Bill's impeachment (very-high) and removal (very-low) chances for his improprieties with a well-known intern.
Then came the Saddameter. Never falling below 50 percent and reaching a high of 97 percent, it kept tabs on the likelihood of a blown Bush-gasket over Iraq and the subsequent chance of invasion. Slate didn't quite hit the nail on the head though - as I'm convinced there was a 100 percent chance of invasion beginning Sept. 12, 2001.
But, before you start calling the police and report this renegade Daily Campus columnist anytime there is a hole in Swan Lake, know this - I only care about the death of Hillary Clinton. And before the Secret Service comes barging in demanding to know whether I've plotted regicide, I don't really plan to cause harm to the junior senator from New York, I merely intend to revel in her prolonged and painful, almost self-indulgent and self-satirizing exit from the national political stage.
This is where Slate.com comes in.
The geniuses - and I do mean geniuses - at Slate have developed what is clearly the most scientific, nonpartisan and objective measure of the Clinton campaign since the advent of polling. Titled "The Hillary Deathwatch," this daily addition to my Internet digest - complete with graphic illustration of Clinton attempting to abandon a sinking ship while wearing a pantsuit and flotation ring - is a guilty pleasure. It is about as close to a public execution one can see in America - hungry crowds gathering around a written description of the downfall of a once-mythic figure.
It is not Slate's first attempt at a thermometer like assessment of complex national politics and policy issues either and it is certainly not the first dealing with the Clintons. The Clintometer was the first in such a series, beginning in 1998 and stretching into February 1999. It chronicled Bill's impeachment (very-high) and removal (very-low) chances for his improprieties with a well-known intern.
Then came the Saddameter. Never falling below 50 percent and reaching a high of 97 percent, it kept tabs on the likelihood of a blown Bush-gasket over Iraq and the subsequent chance of invasion. Slate didn't quite hit the nail on the head though - as I'm convinced there was a 100 percent chance of invasion beginning Sept. 12, 2001.
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