2008 Woodie Awards
Sex And The UniverCity
The Ex-Factor
Emily Neumann
Issue date: 4/9/08 Section: Focus
So you're having a great time at the bar, dancing, laughing with friends, when all of a sudden your significant other sounds the alarm. "Oh, s---! She's here!" he says, and instantly you know exactly what's going down: one of his exes has entered the bar, and she's headed straight toward you.
Seeing a boyfriend or girlfriend's ex for the first time is rough no matter how solid your relationship is, and at a college like UConn, you're bound to run into them.
"You can't avoid them forever, especially if they go to the same school," said Justin Maisto, an 8th-semester history major. Whether it was a serious relationship or just a one-night hookup, running into exes is awkward for everyone, and can certainly stir up trouble.
For some, staying on good terms after the relationship has ended is a priority. But keeping ties with exes can be dicey business, especially if your current lover is uncomfortable with it. "I am friends with all of my exes actually," said Scott Bonito, an 8th-semester education major, "but in terms of my current [partner]'s exes, I don't really like them all that much."
Thinking about a partner's ex makes us question our own worth, and when you find yourself face-to-face with one (or, in the case of the bar, sharing piercing glances), it's only natural to size them up and see how they compare to you. After all, chances are you've heard a whole lot of private and embarrassing stories about them, including the reasons why things didn't work out. Sometimes, you feel like you know your boyfriends' exes personally before you have ever even met them.
When facing a boyfriend or girlfriend's ex for the first time, keep it cool. It's tough, but you'll make the situation a lot easier for your partner if you keep calm. Some people immediately turn on the defenses by saying, "Wow, I'm so much prettier than she is," or, "I can totally take that guy." Others are over-the-top friendly with a super-fake "It's soooo nice to meet you!"
Seeing a boyfriend or girlfriend's ex for the first time is rough no matter how solid your relationship is, and at a college like UConn, you're bound to run into them.
"You can't avoid them forever, especially if they go to the same school," said Justin Maisto, an 8th-semester history major. Whether it was a serious relationship or just a one-night hookup, running into exes is awkward for everyone, and can certainly stir up trouble.
For some, staying on good terms after the relationship has ended is a priority. But keeping ties with exes can be dicey business, especially if your current lover is uncomfortable with it. "I am friends with all of my exes actually," said Scott Bonito, an 8th-semester education major, "but in terms of my current [partner]'s exes, I don't really like them all that much."
Thinking about a partner's ex makes us question our own worth, and when you find yourself face-to-face with one (or, in the case of the bar, sharing piercing glances), it's only natural to size them up and see how they compare to you. After all, chances are you've heard a whole lot of private and embarrassing stories about them, including the reasons why things didn't work out. Sometimes, you feel like you know your boyfriends' exes personally before you have ever even met them.
When facing a boyfriend or girlfriend's ex for the first time, keep it cool. It's tough, but you'll make the situation a lot easier for your partner if you keep calm. Some people immediately turn on the defenses by saying, "Wow, I'm so much prettier than she is," or, "I can totally take that guy." Others are over-the-top friendly with a super-fake "It's soooo nice to meet you!"
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