Sex and the University: To give is to receive: the skinny on oral sex
Published: Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Updated: Tuesday, January 29, 2013 22:01
There is a definite imbalance between the male and female ideas of oral sex and whether it should be reciprocated. Many students I interviewed on the subject stated that the act was something that should have limitations imposed upon it and that it was something that is most commonly expected during a hook up.
A student I asked reported that “it depends on the girl” and that he would only perform oral sex if she was “clean or shaved and if I was dating her.”
The general consensus among male students seemed to be that going down on girls was something that was restricted to a committed relationship. The majority of the men I asked were unlikely to perform oral sex on their female partners while hooking up, but agreed that hooking up would usually include blowjobs, although they wouldn’t ask.
Although baldly asking for fellatio is construed as rudeness, boasting about it is not. The boys declared that only “jerks” and “bros” bragged about girls giving them head, and that it’s usually not an act that is discussed among men, with the exception of close friends.
Cunnilingus on the first date and/or meeting seemed to be less of a concentrated issue for the boys, and was merely thought of being something that wasn’t for casual sex. Although the boys regarded dental dams and/or condoms for oral as more of a suggestion rather than a necessity, they all seemed to take pains to not catch sexual diseases by limiting oral sex to monogamous relationships.
On the other hand, female students believed that there was more of a social stigma against giving head to women. One female student scoffed that it was seen as “subservient for guys to go down on girls and that the main focus is his orgasm, not hers, even though it should be equal.”
Guys see girls going down on them as an act of dominance, they want to assert to you that “they’re the man.” In addition to this, there is also the opinion that a woman who gives blowjobs is “a total hoe, it means that she does a whole bunch of dudes probably.”
This thought process is mostly likely due to the surplus of media images that involve women performing fellatio on men, as opposed to it being the other way around. It is seen as ‘acceptable’ and ‘normal’ for women to give blowjobs, but the image of cunnilingus in film is still a fairly new concept.
However, this is directly contrasted with the patriarchal concept that women should enjoy embracing their sexuality, but should only do so to benefit and/or produce the male orgasm.
“The only way it’s seen as good for guys to give head is if they get something good in return,” a girl said, “but there should be equality in it. There’s no guaranteed reciprocity because I’m supposed to focus on his orgasm, and that’s messed up.”