Sex in the UniverCity
Friends with Benefits?
Published: Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Updated: Tuesday, September 10, 2013 23:09
Friends with benefits are convenient for college—you might not want a partner just yet, or might have just gotten out of a relationship. However, you miss the comfort that sex often provides, and you decide to take up with one of your friends. It seems to be a good idea; you know each other well enough, you have a calm and easy relationship, and you both want some form of sex in your lives. However, it is possible for such a partnership to grow into something more, or does it just inevitably crash and burn?
There’s always the possibility that it can work out. Because you’ve likely been friends with the person for a while, you feel comfortable around them and it seems feasible and enjoyable. The mechanics of it all seem so simple. However, moving towards a romantic relationship might require more personal growth on both parts. Namely, can you function together outside of the bedroom? Do you hang out at all in a casual context? There are so many cases where the “friends with benefits” situation stops containing the friends component because someone has grown emotionally attached. Remind yourself that when in a relationship, you should not only be romantically connected, but have a strong friendship as well.
Sometimes it’s best not to try to transform a friends with benefits situation into a relationship. You might function better as friends, and starting a relationship might bring up unwelcome prospects: your potential partner could have a nasty jealous streak, or become clingy, or be awful at communicating. Make sure to try and get a taste of what furthering your relationship could be like. You don’t want a semester full of drama and heartbreak.