Column: Dr. Drew VI

Exactly one year ago, desperate citizens of the sports world sought my help in a big, misguided way.

I don’t know how they found me. I don’t know why yours truly was confused with celebrity pseudo-expert Dr. Drew Pinsky. But, the call-for-help emails began to pile up mid-Fall and it was terrific.

Back then, as any good media member would, I chose not to keep the star’s issues to myself but rather, splattered them across the pages of this good paper. So, on a bimonthly basis, we heard from players, coaches and others about their problems and printed my answers for them. This semester is no different and boy, has the mail been climbing high.

New year, new fun, same ol’ Dr. Drew. Let’s go.

Dear Dr. Drew,

West Virginia just scored again. West Virginia just scored again. West Virginia just scored again. Even with our best offensive units contending against them, we can’t compete against the Mountaineers. They’re 2-0 in our league now. What should we try? Figured you guys in Storrs could help us out given your experience with this. Oh, and you know who just found the endzone again.

Offensively,

The Big 12 conference

Little defenses of the Big 12,

Good freakin’ luck. WVU head coach Dana Hologorsen has his ‘Air Raid’ attack rolling better than a greased up bowling ball on hard ice. Geno Smith looks like he’s shooting darts to his receivers out of a shotgun and the scoreboard operator is the one getting the biggest workout when the games are over. 69 points or better in half of your last six games isn’t just not half bad—it’s 100 percent criminal.

But, there was one team in that stretch who held the Mountaineers to 31 points and just one offensive touchdown in the first half; a team we here in Storrs are all too familiar with: Maryland. If Randy Edsall’s 3-3 bunch can hold West Virginia down, so can you. Don’t kid yourselves, the games won’t be shoot-outs but limit big plays with deep, disguised coverages and stiffen in the redzone.

Allowing yards won’t matter if points aren’t allowed in conjunction. He runs nearly the exact same system that Oklahoma State has been using for years, so there will be familiarity. Use that experience, keep them in front of you and say a couple Hail Marys so by the end of the fourth quarter, they might have to throw some.

Dear Dr. Drew,

I’ve lost my mojo. Some people are comparing me to Vince Young and I don’t like what’s going on. Things aren’t fun and it’s not my fault. We’re suffering injuries as a team, getting beat badly and the playoffs don’t look good. What do I do?

Kitty without claws,

Cam Newton, QB Carolina Panthers

Cam Complainer,

Listen, snap out of it. There’s not a single player in the NFL that hasn’t struggled in their career for a stretch of games; now it’s your turn. Teams have seen you enough to take advantage of your tendencies, Lady Luck apparently is on vacation and your team is simultaneously struggling. It’s time to hone your focus and not let the first time you’ve faced adversity in football get you down.

This team will take after you, so quit pouting on the sidelines. Bad plays happen. Losses then follow as a result. There’s no avoiding it. You might as well pout about the fact you won’t ever be eligible for the Heisman again. Focus on what you control, and start working back up to that Superman image.

Dear Dr. Drew,

The Cardinals have us one game away from elimination after we brought the first playoff game to D.C. since the FDR administration. Oh yeah, and we had the best record in baseball this year. Two places we’ve never been before. What do we do to avoid a National disaster?

On the edge,

Washington Nationals

Nats,

You’re not going to like this, but warm up your fireballer Stephen Strasburg. Right now, you face a one-game problem until a “winner take all, may the best team win” game 5. All you need is a one-game solution. He’s your best hurler and the Cards are the only team he’s ever faced not to score against him. Sure, it was just one start, but speaking of that outing— how does six innings of two-hit ball and nine strikeouts sound right about now? Pretty darn good, indeed.

Dear Dr. Drew,

It’s me again. I know we talked a couple times last year but I need some help again. We’re 2-3, have a quarterback situation that has Obama and Romney agreeing blows harder than anything and we can’t find a solid running game. How do we get out of this?

Slim but with a heavy heart,

Rex Ryan, Head coach

New York Jets

Rex,

You’ve got a ways to go before this Jets team does anything but crash land. That’s just the way it is. It’s unfortunate that your biggest playmakers on both sides of the ball are out for the season, but as you know, you have to move on. In addition, you need to execute two complete opposites.