UConn loves female orgasms

Sex educators Rachel Dart and Marshall Miller visited UConn for the seventh year in a row to present a thought-provoking seminar entitled “I <3 Female Orgasm” on Tuesday at 7 p.m. in the Student Union. The presentation answered crucial questions, and had a very inspiring message: sexual pleasure involves more than just knowledge about sex, but knowing oneself and communicating with one’s partner. 

So, why are people afraid to seek knowledge about sex? According to Miller, the knowledge circulating in the popular media is often misleading. He said that as he and Dart travel across the country lecturing on the topic, they purchase any and all magazines they find on newsstands featuring “female orgasm”-related articles on the cover. Articles with titles such as ‘What does he think of your O-Face,” (featured in Cosmopolitan) can emphasize the wrong aspects of human sexuality. The list of factors contributing to some people’s lack of  will to seek sexual knowledge can include memories of shame from childhood, sexual assault, and memories of other traumatic experiences. For people struggling with these issues, they recommended Staci Haines’ book ‘Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Sexual Trauma’ especially for women, and Mike Lew’s ‘Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse’ for men. They also recommended talking with trusted sources and counseling as other options.

“Maybe you’ve heard the joke: ‘Why do women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay,’” said Dart. But, it’s more complicated than that. The audience was split into two groups, male and female. The male group left the theatre for a “Q & A” session with Marshall Miller, while the females stayed in the theater to speak with Rachel Dart. 

“What are some physical, emotional, and psychological things that will allow a woman to have an orgasm?” Dart asked the all-female group. The list was extensive, including the following suggestions from audience members: feeling safe with a partner, communication, consent, sex toys, sexy lingerie, loving and accepting ones body, allowing oneself to fantasize and, of course, Channing Tatum. 

The men’s group discussed the different places from which they learned about sexuality. According to Miller, some audience members cited the traditional high-school sex-ed diagrams of fallopian tubes, while others said porn. Dart pointed out that many sex-ed classes in high schools are based around teaching students to say, “no.” Which leaves students in the dark when it comes time to say, “yes” to sex. On the topic of porn, the speakers said that it’s a source that doesn’t necessarily depict women in a life-like manner, and this should be kept in mind.

One myth the speakers aimed to de-bunk is the idea that experience equals expertise. It doesn’t matter how experienced a woman or man is with sex, everyone likes different things. Rather than outright asking your partner, ‘Where are your erogenous zones?’, there are other ways to figure this out. Trial-and-error and communication are key; so is consent above all else.

Audience members reacted positively to the comical overtones of the presentation. When asked about her favorite part of the presentation, first-semester Allied health major, Hiachira Nievesher’s said found Rachel Dart’s hilarious personal anecdotes to be quite funny. Amongst other audience favorites was the open-forum to volunteer “first orgasm” stories. 

The overarching theme of this presentation can best be summed up in the following quote from Rachel Dart: “If your va-jay-jay has character and personality, it does not mean that there’s anything wrong with you.”

For those who missed the seminar or would like to learn more, Dart and Miller will be holding a follow-up presentation called “Multiple Orgasms,” today from 7 to 10 p.m. in the Student Union Theater.